Slightly of Fatness

In order to get a cell phone, open a bank account, and generally function as a legitimite foreign member of Korean society, I had to get a medical exam. Now, the last time I had a medical exam like this, I had to go shirtless in front of two male, french technicians to have a lung scan, then sit with a doctor who couldn't stop staring at the outline of  my boobs on the print, instead of checking my TB free lungs.

I was, therefore, greatly relieved when I walked in the female-run medical clinic. Of course, this feeling was amplified for the fact that I was woozy from starvation, being accidentally about 20 hours into an 8 hour empty stomach regime, for the sake of the bloodwork.

My co-worker, Ghey, lead me gently from station to station, filled out all of my paperwork, and acted as a translator. Other than the starving thing, the process was pretty painless.

Then, I went over the weight stand.

I stepped onto a machine that eletronically measured my height in meters and my weight in kilos. Or whatever that measurement is that is not lbs. The numbers zipped along furiously, then stopped. In the topmost window of the machine popped up the result.

I gasped.

"It says I'm slightly of fatness!" The technician looked at the reading, then my backside and choked awkwardly. The tech next to her stiffled a giggled. Ghey gasped, too.

"Don' listen." She saidl, "You're beautiful."

I cracked up, my laugh bouncing around the otherwise quiet clinic.

"I can't believe it." I said, stepping off the scale, still laughing. "Slightly of Fatness!"

I mean, wow. They don't mince words here.

Welcome to Korea.