This is me being really excited about that idea.
But, I went along with it (mostly because I knew there was no way to get out of going.) I put on my "friendly" face, determined to be as social as possible. I fought against the instinct to cower next to Mack, and instead pulled up a chair to the opposite side of the table and introduced myself.
(I occasionally suffer from social anxiety.)
"Hi, I'm Mishi." I stuck my hand out to guy sitting nearest to me, who was looking at me with an earnest, interested expression. He briefly enveloped me hand in his warm, strong grip.
"Hi, I'm Jack."
Whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa.
(Nerves skitter out of control. I tamp them down. Stupid nerves!)
Ok, so he's cute. No bigs. I've seen cute before. I focus my energy on being engaging and friendly, and try to ignore how cute he is. And how built he is. Mmm...No, no, focus!
I'm momentarily distracted by how cute Jack is, but then I do what I do best. I...ignore it. That's probably not a good strategy, but ignoring it is the only way I can hold a reasonable conversation with him without giggling like a middle schooler.
To my surprise, Mack's boss - Dean - is pretty awesome. He is, as she describes him "really nice, and incredibly nerdy." It was easy to strike up conversation with him and his friends, and I was glad that I'd been dragged along.
At one point, the conversation turned towards relationships. Mostly, it was about how Dean has a gf who has dropped several unsubtle hints about wanting to move in. And get married. Immediately. But we also talked about how most of his friends are married, engaged, or looking to be serious.
"Really?" Mack said. "That's weird. I didn't think guys wanted to get engaged."
"Well," her boss said, "there is definitely a period in a guy's life where he's looking for something a little more...short term...but most of my friends are looking for more long term relationships now."
"Yeah," said Jack, slapping him on the back, "and Dean knows I'm looking for something long term."
Ok, wait. What just happened here?
I don't know about you guys, but I thought that was a very...interesting...statement to make. I mean, who just announces that they're looking for a relationship? I looked around the table. He didn't need to tell Dean - clearly, he already knew. He wasn't telling Mack - she has a boyfriend. He wasn't telling Dean's other friend - they don't know each other that well.
Was he trying to give me a message?
I totally couldn't tell. The way it was done, it seemed like it, but it just...couldn't be. Sure, I thought Jack was cute. But he's older than me, more accomplished then me, and totally out of my league. At least, that's what how I summed up the situation. I honestly couldn't believe that he'd be interested.
But what if he was?
How funny would that be? The day after I decide that I'm not focusing on men, along comes Mr. Commitment. Seriously? SERIOUSLY?
I left Cleary's feeling baffled. To be perfectly honest, I couldn't tell if he was interested or not. I had a niggling suspicion that maybe he possibly was, but it just seemed so preposterous that I ignored it.
Skip forward to Saturday.
Browsing through my email, I noticed that I ten new matches from eHarmony. I decided to check them out, for curiosity's sake. My time is almost up, and not really in the mood to pursue, but why not see what's there? I opened up my eHarmony account, and began viewing the details of my new matches.
My mouth dropped.
My new matches are HOT. Like, pick-your-jaw-up-off-the-ground hot. Why are all these hot guys showing up now?
So. Not. Cool.
The real question is - what do I do about this? If hot guys are going to throw themselves on my path, the very least I can do is notice them. And while I haven't changed my mind - I'm not in the mood to pursue - I'd be a fool actively avoid men. This is all very confusing.
*sigh*
4 quirky quips:
I'm pretty sure that eHarmony saves all the lookers until the end of your subscription, to tempt you with renewing. There's really no other way around it. I was beginning to think that you found Jack on your new matches!
Oh man - that would have been INSANE. No, he's very much an "IRL" contact. I totally agree with you, btw. They saved all the lookers for last.
how much older? fifteen years is probably too much, seven is ok, the in-between is a grey area. something happens after college, around the time you start feeling like you can really handle your first job -- the age restrictions somehow change, because you realise that adults are, erm, just like you (I will not say that "you are just like them", because that's just too scary, even at my age ;-))
but excuse me: accomplished? isn't that something straight out of jane austen? get real, you're plenty accomplished.
barbara
o
How much older? Hmm...6 or 7 years I think. It was old enough that I felt young in comparison, which is a little uncomfortable. He age definitely wasn't a deal breaker - just something to consider. I'm not even gonna touch that "adult" thing. *shudder*. Also, thanks for the vote of confidence. I don't feel very accomplished most days, though.
Post a Comment
Hello! Have something to say? Feel free. I love reading what you have to say. I read ALL comments before they are published, so if you try to leave one and it disappears, just check back later. I usually responds to comments during normal business hours (9:00-5:00). Questions? Comments you don't want out on blogosphere? Feel free to email me at mishi [at] therestofmylifesofar [dot] net.